It is said that we truly fall in love only three times in our lifetime. Moreover, every time we fall in love for different reasons.
Often, the first love occurs when we are teenagers during high school. It’s an idealistic love, like the ones we read about in story books when we were kids. We are convinced that this will be the only love and it does not matter if it is approved by society or parents. We think love looks like this, and it does not matter how others see us, the most important thing is how we feel. This kind of love seems the purest.
The second love is the one we think to be our hard love. It is the love that teaches us who we are and how much we want to be loved. It is the kind of love that hurts, and we “meet” lies, pain or manipulation.
The second love can become cyclic, we often insist on it, hoping the end will be different. But every time we try, the end is worse than the one before. This bond has a strong emotional impact, mentally, and can bring physical abuses or manipulations. It takes place at high, dramatic levels. That is why we become addicted on this relationship, it is like a carousel in which we are exalted and thrown to the ground, always trying to get to the top, in search of fulfillment.
In this type of love, the efforts to make it work are huge and could affect the rest of our lives.
The third love is the one we did not expect at all. It is the one that usually looks wrong and destroys any thoughts about how we imagine love to be. It is love that appears so suddenly that it does not even seem possible. It is the kind of love that brings us along with a person with whom we never imagine we could form a couple.
This is the love that brings us along with someone with whom we resonate with. This time there are no expectations as to how we should behave and there is no pressure to become a different person than what we are.
We simply accept each other and that shakes us very deep.
It is not the love we imagined, nor the one that obeys the rules and makes us feel safe. It is the love that will bruise everything we knew before about and will show us that love does not have to be the way we thought.
It is the love that will continue to knock at our the door no matter how long will take to answer.
Maybe we will not experience all these love types in our lives, but that’s because we are not prepared for it. It is not the fact that we are not prepared for love, but maybe we have to accept that love is waiting for us.
There are also those couples that have passionately liked each other from the very beginning and have remained together until the last breath. Someone told me they were the lucky ones and love could be like that.
But I think the people who reach the third love are really lucky. They are those whose hearts are wondering if something wrong happened to the way they loved. But it’s not like that. They should think if they were loved the same way or not. If it did not work in the past it does not mean it can not work now.
We all can choose to remain at our first love, which seems clean and pure. We can choose to keep the second love, for which we must fight to take it further. Or we can believe in the third love.
The third love is the one we feel at home without any explanation. It is love that is not like a storm, but rather as the peace that follows the storm.
Perhaps there are extraordinary things about the other two. But the third love is the one I have never seen coming. The one that lasts. The one that shows us why the other loves did not work.